You Make Me Sick!

Yes, I am very proud of what you have accomplished despite what others probably expected to happen to you. I knew you could do it!! You are the most creative person I know! You inspire me, girly.

You will find out exactly how moody I can be by reading this blog. I was pissed and defeated during my previous entry, and I guarantee that there will be more days like that. I know that things will improve as I fix my own life step by step as well. (And these steps are in no particular order).

Step One has already started. I have TWO interviews this week. I'm reading more and writing more as well as evidenced by this blog. I'm starting with small writing goals, but things are improving. One of my other girlfriends, who happens to be a bomb-ass hairdresser, just got a job offer w/ a signing bonus, met a man, and started house hunting in the span of a few weeks.

Step Two is getting the relationship where it should be and I think we are working on that a little better than usual too. We had a candid, honest discussion in the wee hours of the night. That is our time b/c the rest of the world is blocked out and it's just us and God, in our bed, being open and intimate-- with our clothes on :) (BTW, Mary J. has a song called "Ultimate Relationship (A.M.)" on a previous cd that you should hear.)

Step Three is getting myself in emotional and physical shape and that's looking up as well. Those walks that I take do wonders for both aspects of this step. Diet needs work but I love food! We are going to get Hip Hop Abs and dance around the house LOL.

Step Four is starting my family and I will continue to prepare financially, mentally, and physically for motherhood and wifeydom. Military life won't be easy, but I'm getting practice.

So everything is a go!


Positivity is contagious, and I promise to do my part to get you sick!

Well, with that being said...

I admit I do not feel that I am in the exact place that I thought I would been when I was nineteen years old but I also did not think I would be a mom at eighteen, or have two children now or work out of my home or love stuffed artichokes.  I think that is what life really is about all the unknown and the surprises!  I know I never figured that when I met Michael walking down the street that day in October of 1998 I never figured in 2008 I would be mothering his child all by myself but I am.  She also is probably one of the funniest little people I have ever met in my entire life and I can not imagine how I would spend my days if she was not there to entertain me.  Teen Pregnancy and single mom hood and all I am still achieving my goals just in a different manner.   I wanted to become a teacher so I am achieving it online.  I love to write so I blog and write for a couple of websites.  At the risk of sounding exactly like my grandmother, "when you get lemons make lemonade"!  

I think that we had a very nice Easter sitting on the phone and watching television!  Who cares if it was spent sitting on the couch and we only had a brief intermission while I was at my grandmother’s house eating myself silly.  I personally do not think I would want a huge circle of friends like our coveted television show Girlfriends (should have got a send off).  I think I would have to slap one of those women eventually with what can be only be described as their witty slander.  I would only have to be referred to as ghetto, snobby or bitch once and it would be on!

I do not mind sitting on the phone listening to you crying or yelling my eardrums have gotten quite used to it actually!

 

JUST A SIDE NOTE...

Do you remember me telling you not to buy Brain Age 2?  Well you big dummy the reason was because I got it for you for Christmas now I am taking it back for something else.  Hurry up and visit!  Did you buy your ticket yet?

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE...

I am so smart that when I originally published this post nothing appeared.  It took me at least fifteen minutes to realize that when I transferred this from Microsoft Word to the blog that it was written in black and would not show up on a black background.  LOL!

 

All I Really Want . . .

Yes, I'm it . . . if it is a DAMN FOOL! I'm almost at the milestone of 30 years of age and my life looks nothing like I said it would when I was dreaming and making plans. I don't know where the years went but I want them back. I want to feel like I felt when I was 19, able to do the incredible and, if necessary, the impossible.

At this point, I'm supposed to have a stable career, a house, a hubby, and a child. I'm supposed to be a part of that sophisticated but hip, grown but not too damned old, creative but not freaky, upper-middle class Black socialite party in my favorite Morris Chestnut/Gabrielle Union movies. I want to organize events w/ my friends and open my own book store and pick up the kids from drama and dance clubs. I want to go to the gym with my girlfriends and ask them why the man that I love still refuses to put his pants in the hamper. I want to take trips to Caribbean destinations with my husband and come back home with a tan and sore legs. I want to decorate a house that we both worked hard to get and own other property that we rent to others who are starting their lives. I want to go to bed smiling every night because I did what I said I would do, and I would raise my kids to know that they could do the same thing.

Instead, I'm laying on the couch alone on Easter Sunday, watching the story of how other Black women made their dreams come true. My desire to become a writer has morphed into many safer avenues --- English teacher and currently urban librarian. Both satisfying for a period of time, but the ugly, unethical business side of these professions have ruined them for me. I'm not married yet (despite my pen name) because I've been in love with 2 men in my whole entire life and that television moment that I honestly thought was reserved for white women, hasn't happened with either one of them. Not yet anyway. No children yet either because I wanted the rest of my dreams to come true first so that little Nailah or Donovan (cute names, right?) would be happy from the beginning. No group of close girlfriends either because I don't trust people. My heart has been broken by men and women, old and young, relatives and play-relatives. BFF is the only one still standing!

I don't say it enough, but thanks for listening to me crying and yelling in your ear every other night. I am going to keep working towards the life that I want and I want you to do the same. I will try to be as supportive of you as you have been to me through my greatest decisions and my most fucked up ones. What are your goals right now, mamacita?

Inaugural Blog

Since this was all my idea I have been assigned to write the very first blog entry. Quite the daunting task if you ask me. This entry sets the entire tone for our entire endeavor. What in the world do I write? I guess I will write about me. I am a single mom of two, yes two children . One is a teenager and the other is a toddler. They are both completely out of their minds and I would not have it any other way. I work out of my home writing, tutoring and teaching. The decision to try and write a collaborative blog came about because of this. My best freind is trying to become more disciplined in her writing and I figured what better way to stay inspired than to write to one another in a blog. In theory this should work!

Tag D your it!